My career as an engineer took me all around the world. Sometimes, work was extremely hectic. I was caught up in climbing the corporate ladder while doing some pretty amazing projects.
All while balancing having a family... when my youngest was born, I was determined to take some more time to focus on my family.
So, we came back to Canada to raise our family. And I loved being home...
Until... I didn't. Something was missing.
That grind. The connection to science and contributing to projects. The desire to be recognized as being more than "Mom" and "Wife".
I joined a local consulting firm when my youngest was 1-1/2 years old and I revelled in the work and being with people again. In a few months, I was asked to be Chief Operating Officer (COO) which really spoke to my desire to climb the corporate ladder.
What a thrill! My own team, direct contribution to how the company ran, the ability to make decisions.
But the reality was that I still had a very young family. So I negotiated part-time.
C-suite jobs aren't done part-time. So, what I had agreed to was a full-time job for part-time pay.
I remember my then 2-year-old running towards me, smiling from ear to ear. And in one fell swoop, I killed his excitement.
“Not now, honey. Go play with your toys. I’ll be right there.” I said, waving at him, my eyes glued to the email I cared more about in that minute than my child’s happiness.
This craziness was just what I thought I had to do to perform as a COO - and due to my desire to do my best, I know I would have continued to push myself.
Something big would have to happen to wake me up to the madness.
And it did...